This is the final sermon in the Family Life series. We’ve seen how being single is a good life and how being married is good too. We’ve also seen how we should interact with each other in our families.

This week is the curveball as we see that Jesus is more important than family.

1. Following Jesus means you may harm some relationships. Being a Christian can strain or even divide families (Matthew 10:34-36). … Not everyone follows Jesus, and that can lead to problems within the family. … This doesn’t make divorce ok. We’ve covered that already in this series. … In much of the world, when someone starts following Jesus, their family looks down upon them and may even disown them. We’re not as likely to see that extreme in our part of the world, but we still may receive disappointment from them. Even Jesus had to deal with this to an extent.

2. Following Jesus must take priority over family relationships (Matthew 10:37-39; Luke 9:57-62). … Jesus uses some shocking language get this point across. Nothing and nobody should be the center of your life except Jesus. Family is a good thing, but even good things become idols when we put them ahead of Jesus.

3. Following Jesus means you will gain many new family relationships (Mark 3:31-34; 10:28-31). … We gain brothers and sisters in Christ when we follow Jesus. We may lose some relationships, but we will gain many more. Even if you are alone, have no family, In Christ you have many brothers and sisters. … We may even get the family members that lost back. They may come to accept and follow Jesus too. Jesus’ family wasn’t too supportive of Him for a long time, but they came to follow Him in the end.

Ephesians 6:1-4

Ephesians 5 provides some context for the main scripture today

1. Verse 8 tells us the first thing that we need is a relationship with God. Verse 9 tells us that relationship is what can bring good things to our family.

2. Verse 18 tells us we need to be filled with the Holy Spirit so our homes can be filled with the fruits of the Spirit.

3. Verse 21 tells us the importance of a mutually submissive marriage.

What is the responsibility of children to their parents?

1. Obey your parents (Ephesians 6:1). … This is part of our spiritual growth. Submitting to our parents’ rules teaches us how to submit to God. The only time children shouldn’t obey their parents is if their command goes against God.
   What does this mean?

1. Listen to them. … The root word of “obey” in Greek is “listen” and so we should listen to them. Even Jesus listened to and obeyed His earthly parents.

2. Respond promptly.

3. Respond completely. … Partial obedience is disobedience.

4. Respond without whining or complaining.

2. Honor your parents (Ephesians 6:2-3). … This is the first commandment with a promise. We are told that honoring our parents gives us a better chance at a long life. … While obedience is a temporary obligation, honoring them is a permanent obligation. Once children become adults, they leave the house and are no longer obligated to obey their parents but should continue to honor them.
   How can adult children do?

1. Express gratitude.

2. Seek wisdom.

3. Refuse to speak evil of them. … It’s possible that your parents wronged you in some way. In this case, forgive them. Don’t bring up the past mistakes. This is how we want God to treat us and should be how we treat our parents.

4. Communicate with them.

5. Provide for them.

What is the responsibility of parents to their children?

There are two extremes to avoid in parenting:

1. Do not over-correct your children (Ephesians 6:4a). … This is the extreme of being too hard on your children. This can come from the parent who always expects perfection and focuses on the negative. Or the parent who is always angry and takes it out on their children.

2. Do not under-discipline your children (Ephesians 6:4b). … This extreme is the permissive parent who does not correct enough. Children need to be trained and instructed; they need to be warned and disciplined. This can come from parents who are just lazy or maybe they have a medical issue that makes it harder to discipline. Or sometimes this is the parent who seeks satisfaction from their kids because that parent isn’t in the right relationship with God. Sometimes this parent is living with guilt from some past event and refuses to discipline because of that.

Matthew 18:1-14

This passage begins with a couple of the disciples

1. Learn from children how to enter the Kingdom of Heaven (Matthew 18:1-4).
   Children are dependent. Your independence will prevent you from entering Heaven. … We think we can do everything on our own and don’t need help from God, we don’t think we need to depend on God. Or even if we do think that, we often do not act like it.We’re wrong. We need God or we won’t enter Heaven. We can’t enter Heaven unless we depend on God.

2. Whoever welcomes a child in the name of Jesus welcomes Jesus (Matthew 18:5). … What does it mean to welcome children? Here are some things it could mean.

1. Welcome children into the world. Abortion is not welcoming children into the world.

2. Special needs children are often not welcomed in the world or in the culture. Treating them with respect is a way to welcome children.

3. Adoption and foster care are great ways to welcome children who really need it.

4. Sponsoring a child who needs it welcomes that child

3. Whoever causes a child to stumble brings trouble upon himself (Matthew 18:6-7). … Now Jesus is talking about actual children as well as anyone who becomes like a child and depends on Him. Everyone will face temptation and stumbling blocks, but you don’t need to be the person who creates that temptation or stumbling block for anyone.

4. Do not look down on children (Matthew 18:10).
   Two reasons to value children:

1. Because their angels have a direct audience with the Father in Heaven (Matthew 18:10). … We’re not really sure if this means every child and believer has their own “guardian angel” or if there are jsut angels asigned to certain groups of people.

2. Because the Father cares for and actively seeks each individual child (Matthew 18:12-14). … Even if 99% of them are safe, Jesus still goes after the 1% to make sure He keeps 100%.

Here are a couple things to consider from this sermon:

1. Do you look down on children? What can you do to show more respect to kids?

2. Are you dependent on God? What are some areas in your life where you need to rely more on God?

Media frequently portrays marriage in a negative light, as a prison to escape. There are shows that let us watch a man try to find his perfect match, or woman try to find hers. The Bachelor has 22 seasons right now. Only one couple produced by that show is still together. The model of love often presented by the media does not work. Perhaps we need to use a different model, maybe the Biblical model.

Ephesians 5:21-33

Spouses, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ (Ephesians 5:21). … In this chapter, just before the passage we’re looking at today, Paul lists four indications that we are filled with the Holy Spirit:

1. Speaking (Ephesians 5:19)

2. Singing (Ephesians 5:19)

3. Giving Thanks (Ephesians 5:20)

4. Submitting (Ephesians 5:21)

Notice how the fourth is submitting. We are called to submit to Christ. Spouses should also submit to each other.

Wives, support your husbands and follow their leadership (Ephesians 5:22-24).

Husbands, love your wives:

Our culture defines love as a feeling, but the Bible defines love as an action.

1. Love your wife as Christ loved the Church (Ephesians 5:25-27). … Christ gave Himself up for the Church (John 3:16). Love is shown by the way we act. … We are all imperfect and sometimes we may not feel like loving, but we are still called to love.

2. Love your wife as your own body (Ephesians 5:28-31). … One feeds and cares for one’s body; likewise, one should feed and care for one’s wife. … When man and woman marry, they become one flesh, one body.

In 1972 the O’Jays released “Love Train”. Let’s look at a couple different configurations for a “love train,” one that the world tells us to use and one the Bible tells us ton use.

World:

• Engine: Loving Feelings

• Cabin car: Loving Actions

• Caboose: Commitment

This love train configuration is powered by feelings and eventually leads to commitment. Too often those feelings fade and can’t pull the loving actions and commitment. In order to keep going, they decouple from the rest of the train, leaving loving actions and commitment behind.

Bible:

• Engine: Commitment

• Cabin car: Loving Actions

• Caboose: Loving Feelings

This configuration is powered by commitment which pulls loving action and loving feelings behind. Even when feelings fade, commitment keeps pulling loving actions and even those loving feelings.

1 Peter 3:1-7

Peter, the author of this letter, was a married man. We know this because he had a mother-in-law (Mark 1:30-31) and because Paul implied it (1 Corinthians 9:5).

Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands (1 Peter 3:1-6).

What this does not mean:

• A wife should submit to abuse … Let’s make it clear that Christians believe wives should not submit to abuse.

• 1-800-799-SAFE is the hotline to call if you suffer abuse

• That the husband is superior … There is equality between husband and wife. How is their equality when there is submission? Let’s look at the Trinity. All three Persons are equal, but the Son submits (or defers) to the Father.They serve different roles.

• A wife should always agree with her husband … The wife does not (and likely should not) always agree with her husband

What this does mean:

• A wife should follow the husband’s lead. … The wife is to follow her husband as long as he is leading down the right path. Marriage is a bit of a team sport and the wife needs to be on the husband’s team. … If the husband is not a Christian, the wife is told to still follow their lead with the hope that her behavior and actions will win him over.

Let your beauty come from the character of your life. … It’s not wrong to wear jewelry or fine clothes or a fancy hairstyle, but those outward decorations should be secondary to your character.

Peter uses Abraham and Sarah as an example. These two were not a perfect couple by any means, but they do show a wife submissive to her husband.

Husbands, honor your wives (1 Peter 3:7).

Be considerate of your wife as physically weaker but spiritually equal. Failure to be considerate of your wife hinders your prayers. … The husband’s role is not to tell the wife to submit. The husband’s role is to respect her and be considerate of her. … Men and women are created differently. Generally, men are bigger and stronger than women. The husband should never touch the wife in anger. … Spiritually, men and women are equal. Just because the husband is meant to lead, that doesn’t mean he is superior in spirit. … The relationship with your wife affects your relationship with God. If a husband is abusive towards his wife either physically, emotionally, or spiritually, then his relationship with God is hindered.

1 Corinthians 7:1-6, 10-24

An interesting aspect of this passage is that Paul says the same thing to both the husband and wife. This would have been a revolutionary idea back then.

1. One should deprive one’s marriage partner of sexual intimacy except by mutual consent. Distance or separation in a marriage relationship is dangerous (1 Corinthians 7:1-6). … Paul was talking about intimacy. A lack of intimacy likely indicates problems that put distance between husband and wife. That distance is something Satan can use to create even more issues.

2. Two Christians should not divorce (1 Corinthians :10-11). Jesus said the only exception is adultery (Matthew 19:9). … Paul references what Jesus has said on this issue and tells Christians to work through their problems.

3. A believer should _ to an unbeliever if the unbelieving spouse is willing to do so (1 Corinthians 7:12-16). The presence of one Christians in a family sanctifies the family. … This time Paul uses his own discernment and tells us that Christians should remain with their unbelieving spouse if their spouse is willing to remain married. He says that the Christian spouse can “sanctify” the family. That doesn’t mean a family is saved just because one of the parents is a Christian, but that the family may be blessed because of it.

4. Be content regardless of your material situation (1 Corinthians 7:17-24). Serve God where you are until He moves you into different circumstances. You can be content where you are (Philippians 4:10-13). … We are told not to wish we were somewhere else or with someone else, but to be content. Our circumstances don’t determine our happiness or contentedness. We are defined by God, not our marital status.

The church of Corinth wrote to Paul and asked him some questions about how to live as a Christian. One of the topics was marriage. We don’t have the actual question that was asked, but chapter 7 of 1 Corinthians is Paul’s answer to the question.

Four Things to Consider When Deciding Whether to Marry

1. Am I able to lead a chaste as a single? (1 Corinthians 7:2, 7-9) … For a Christian there needs to be purity, so a single Christian should remain celibate. Paul says not everyone is able to remain chaste and that one reason to get married is so that we don’t burn with passion.

2. Are the circumstances right at this time for me to marry? (1 Corinthians 7:25-28; 1 Timothy 5:14) … There are some situations in which getting married is not a wise thing to do. And there are other circumstances where marrying is wise.

3. How will marriage or singleness affect my service to Christ? (1 Corinthians 7:32-35) … Serving Christ is the most thing we do. If being married makes your service to the Lord more effective, get married. If being single makes you more effective, remain single.

4. Am I marrying a believer in Christ? (1 Corinthians 7:39-40) … Marriage is for a lifetime and it is important to be married to another believer, should you choose to marry.

Four Purposes of Marriage

1. Partnership (Malachi 2:14; Ecclesiastes 4:9-12) … Marriage is a partnership. Life easier with a partner.

2. Procreation (Genesis 1:27-28) … Having children is another reason

3. Pleasure (Song of Solomon 1:2) … God created marriage for pleasure. God gives good gifts.

4. Purity (1 Corinthians 7:9) … It is better to marry than to burn with passion.

For singles, these purposes can fulfilled in other ways

1. Partnership can come friends and the church

2. Singles may not have biological children, but they can have spiritual children

3. Pleasure can come from many different sources

4. Purity comes from being chaste.