Media frequently portrays marriage in a negative light, as a prison to escape. There are shows that let us watch a man try to find his perfect match, or woman try to find hers. The Bachelor has 22 seasons right now. Only one couple produced by that show is still together. The model of love often presented by the media does not work. Perhaps we need to use a different model, maybe the Biblical model.

Ephesians 5:21-33

Spouses, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ (Ephesians 5:21). … In this chapter, just before the passage we’re looking at today, Paul lists four indications that we are filled with the Holy Spirit:

  1. Speaking (Ephesians 5:19)

  2. Singing (Ephesians 5:19)

  3. Giving Thanks (Ephesians 5:20)

  4. Submitting (Ephesians 5:21)

Notice how the fourth is submitting. We are called to submit to Christ. Spouses should also submit to each other.

Wives, support your husbands and follow their leadership (Ephesians 5:22-24).

Husbands, love your wives:

Our culture defines love as a feeling, but the Bible defines love as an action.

  1. Love your wife as Christ loved the Church (Ephesians 5:25-27). … Christ gave Himself up for the Church (John 3:16). Love is shown by the way we act. … We are all imperfect and sometimes we may not feel like loving, but we are still called to love.

  2. Love your wife as your own body (Ephesians 5:28-31). … One feeds and cares for one’s body; likewise, one should feed and care for one’s wife. … When man and woman marry, they become one flesh, one body.

In 1972 the O’Jays released “Love Train”. Let’s look at a couple different configurations for a “love train,” one that the world tells us to use and one the Bible tells us ton use.

World:

  • Engine: Loving Feelings

  • Cabin car: Loving Actions

  • Caboose: Commitment

This love train configuration is powered by feelings and eventually leads to commitment. Too often those feelings fade and can’t pull the loving actions and commitment. In order to keep going, they decouple from the rest of the train, leaving loving actions and commitment behind.

Bible:

  • Engine: Commitment

  • Cabin car: Loving Actions

  • Caboose: Loving Feelings

This configuration is powered by commitment which pulls loving action and loving feelings behind. Even when feelings fade, commitment keeps pulling loving actions and even those loving feelings.